HP's New Photosmart Commercial, WoW

Am I the only one who finds the'Francois'> HP Photosmart commercials absolutely mesmerizing...

I cannot get the images and the tune out of my mind.

I just want to go out and get whatever it is that they are pitching.

Venus Envy

What a match!

Every time she was at the ropes and looked like she would be reeled in by Lindsay Davenport, Venus Williams seemed to get energized. In contrast when she had Match Point herself she double faulted.

What a match. I love tennis.

The Benefits Of Giving Away The Bride

Magda is a dear old friend of mine. I grew up with her and her four sisters back in Hometown. They are a stunning family of Cablinasian mélange. In February 2004, Ann and I were on vacation in Copenhagen and visited her and her new beau by driving across the fabulous Øresund Bridge into Sweden. Magda has had romantic challenges, twice married with a child from each husband; she recently had a third child, her first daughter, from her boyfriend Gustav.

A few weeks later I received a call from an excited Magda. Gustav had proposed and she was over the moon. "Will you come give me away?" she asked. "Happily," I said, " but only if your dad cannot make it" I did not want to get embroiled in family politics.

Come August I flew across the Atlantic to Stockholm and took the train to her town.

The wedding was in the stunning garden of the best hotel in town. I got there a few minutes before it began. As would be expected Magda was nervous (this is her third time, don't you ever get used to it?) Most of the guests saw me for the first time as I walked her down the aisle.

Now, I have always considered weddings good hunting grounds for an aspiring player, but the kind of attention one gets after he has just walked the bride down the aisle is off the charts!! There were lingering handshakes and a-little-too-warm smiles in the reception line. And every woman wanted to know my story; how I knew Magda, why she refers to me as her 'best friend", and on and on. Now I was lapping it up.

+++

I was in top form; I danced with women from ages 13 to 80. I had a jolly good time. There was this stunning woman whose name escapes me. She was there with her boyfriend but was a little too friendly. I asked her about him and if he would mind the attention she was paying me and she said "I do what I want, and this is what I want to do."

"Eh, okay."

Our dancing became increasingly more intimate and I thought that I would pair off with her, when her boyfriend came and informed her that they were going home, and Magda discreetly mentioned to me that the boyfriend was Gustav's very good friend.

A few months later, Magda and Gustav told me that the boyfriend had been primed to "kick my ass" but only held off because he did not want to ruin his friends wedding.

Oops.

+++

I did not notice her until towards the end of the evening. She was from England and had been working in Stockholm as an architect for a while. Her ex-boyfriend was at the wedding and he had been criticizing her all evening. She was mad. Perfect.

After about an hour of chatting I noticed that the birds were chirping and dawn was rising. I needed to close this deal quickly as I had a noon train to catch back to the airport. "Let's go back to your hotel" I said rather directly.

She looked at me and asked "But what will ex-bf think."

"He doesn't deserve you" I said, then grabbed her arm and we walked out to one of the waiting taxis.

We had a fabulous morning. She was lithe and energetic. Alas I had to get up way to early to get the train back to the airport to get back home.

But what a fun night.

Shrek

I am watching Shrek for the umpteenth time with my son Zach. He is simulcasting the entire dialogue. Wow. If I knew all the words I would not want to watch the movie again.

Ahh, the joys of being seven.

On Boundaries

I have griped long and hard over the last two weeks that Dara's fling was an egregious transgression of boundaries. I still think that it was/is. What has been brought to my mind recently is that I have not been the master respecter of boundaries. I have reflected on that and I have astounded myself with the examples…

A few years ago I broke up with Miranda, my then girlfriend, because she gave me an ultimatum: "Either I stopped seeing Ann or we would have to end our relationship." At the time Ann and I were platonic friends but Miranda found her extraordinarily flirtatious with me, disrespectful of her and wanted no more of it. I chose my friendship with Ann over my relationship – Miranda could not believe it, but to me it was the only response I could give to an ultimatum. Less than a month later after a whiskey bender, I propositioned, slept with and began dating Ann. As Miranda said this week after I moaned to her about Dara, "You don't have a leg to stand on when talking about relationships. You talk about all the 8 million men in NYC. Well there are 8 million women here too. You think I did not want to wring your neck when you slept with and began dating Ann after our breakup."

While I believed we had an open relationship, Dara did say one thing to me clear as day. "I am not happy with our arrangement, but if you are going to see other people I guess I will learn to deal with it but please don't ever sleep with Ann." Ann was the woman I was dating when Dara and I met. I guess it was like being asked not to take a bite of the apple in the Garden of Eden, within a month of that statement Ann and I were hooking up again. Dara found out, was deeply hurt, but stayed. Sorry Dara.

A good while back when I was back in Hometown visiting my family I met an old friend who I had been close to from before kindergarten to adulthood and his new girlfriend. A few nights later I was out at the local hotspot and girlfriend was there without said friend. She pursued me, I responded and we hooked up that night. (FU #1), I felt like a prime piece of shit. So guess what I did to make myself feel better? I told friend that I had screwed up and slept with his girlfriend (FU #2). A few years later I met girlfriend in Hometown and she asked me "Why did you have to tell him?" I guess that was selfish of me, but I am glad he is not married to her. My relationship with friend has never been the same since.

My ex-girlfriend Miranda and I have slept in the same bed twice since we broke up, ostensibly as friends. We are extraordinarily close, but she has made it clear that we will never have a sexual relationship again. So what did I do both times? I made a pass at her. She drop-kicked me to hell each time, but I deserved it. The last time after dinner out I went to sleep on her couch then at some ridiculous hour of 4 or 5 or 6 I got up an went into her room and climbed into her bed. It was good and comfortable because we'd been there before, but it felt awkward because of all the water under the bridge. We talked and she told me that she did not think it appropriate for us to be in 'bed' together given our current circumstances. I did not push it. But I would classify that as a 'pass'

Last summer I made distinct, crass and decidedly unwelcome advances to the younger sister of my son Zach's nanny. The next day I was awoke in a cold sweat thinking that Nanny would quit and I would be up shit's creek, and my ex-wife would have just that more ammunition against me. I apologized and they forgave. I am now helping Nanny's sister get a job in a land far, far away.

Not too, too long ago I flirted with and went out on one date a 21 year old ex employee. Thankfully it did not go anywhere, but what a recipe for disaster.

I once pursued two sisters at the same time. I was chatting with one when she told me that she was estranged from the other and that they did not talk. I immediately began calling the sister. I'll write about what happened in a future post.

So, what do you think? Do I have a leg to stand on in this issue?

One Year Later

Dara and I met exactly one year ago today.

So, do you think anniversary wishes are in order?

A Beautiful Man

I met a beautiful man yesterday.

I was dining at a restaurant in Saint Louis. The young couple seated next to me was entertaining me with lighthearted banter so I did not notice him take the barstool to my right.

"What are you reading?" he asked referring to the book lying closed before me. I told him, handed him the book to look, then I turned back to the previous conversation.

After at least an hour the couple left and he reinitiated conversation. I immediately felt a twinge of guilt -- had I rudely turned my back to him this whole time?

We had your usual strangers-at-the-bar chit chat. About NYC, about the mid-west, about his hometown of LA.

It was then that I noticed how striking he was. He was lean, with angular features and a warm smile. The odd scar on his pretty-boy face suggested adventure and heightened his attractiveness. He had silky smooth milk chocolate skin.

My heterosexual hands itched to touch his unruly black wooly hair -- not in a sexual way, but just to know what it felt like. I thoroughly enjoyed our easy conversation. I was struck by his intelligence, his candor and his humor -- delivered with educated diction in a deep James Earl Jones like baritone.

We talked of his impending move back to California to be with his fiancee. We talked love, marriage, divorce, pre-nups. We talked about wine -- his industry.

I was distracted by a good looking woman who walked in and sat to my left. I spoke with her (of course) and the three of us engaged in fun chatter. The beautiful man and I exchanged cards when he took his leave.

As we watched him walk out I remarked to my neighbor and the bartender that he was the most engaging stranger that I had met in all my years of business travel. It then hit me like lightning. He had been seducing me, as I played our conversation back it became more obvious. Wow, a beautiful man on the down low.

I am not going to call.

Forgiving

One of the greatest gifts we can each give ourselves is to forgive another. Yesterday I totally forgave Dara for her transgression. And it is I who feels so much better.

Unfortunately, I don't know how to forget or even if I will be able to again trust her with sweet, naïve innocence that I had. But I will try.

She wants to give our relationship another shot. This time she wants an exclusive monogamous relationship. I know first hand that taking other lovers causes pain -- even if it is an open relationship and fully disclosed. Strangely, the idea of monogamy sounds delightful right now.

I am just not sure whether I can get there with Dara.

The Gay Bar

Tuesday June 21, 2005 3:22 AM

It is late I could not sleep, so I wandered around Carolyn's neigborhood. I noticed the large rainbow flags outside the only establishment that was still rocking, so for the first time I walked into a gay bar.

I am alone and I have no idea what I am looking for, but it must appear as though I am looking for a hookup. I don't believe that I am bisexual, but I also know that I don't know anything anymore. This Dara thing has blown my mind.

Around me men are making out; there are a few women here too. Mmmm. I love women! But, truth be told, I have wondered what my life would be like if I was bi. Like the twins say in the doublemint commercials "twice the pleasure" -- and you at least double your chance of scoring.

Looking at the folks here is interesting. There are the people who have paired off and a few who are still on the prowl. Then there are the women. I have no idea what to make of the women here.

I am tempted to talk to the couple next to me and tell them I am hetero but "oh so gay friendly" but that is so cheesy. Why would it be necessary to say such a thing?

I get up and ask the the Latino DJ about the artist of one of the songs. He begins to overtly flirt with me. He touches my arm as he speaks. It is not offensive. Strangely I wonder if this is because I am attracted to him. I drink my whiskey and go back to Carolyn's place.

Sex, Sexuality, Sexual Identity, Sexual Orientation, Sexual Behavior

I came across this interesting Health Information for New Zealanders page that had definitions for these words. These are words I use frequently and often interchangeably so I thought that getting good working definitions would be useful. I took what they posted as a genesis but added further research to come up with these definitions.

(Note: These definitions are by no means universally accepted, while trolling the Net I came across many contradictory definitions.)

Sex has multiple meanings. It refers to our physical distinction as female or male on the basis of our reproductive organs. It also refers to physical intimacy directed reproduction, or simply sexual gratification. It is the "doing" or physical part including touching, kissing, rubbing, licking and intercourse. It also refers to the genitals (especially in bad erotica.)

Sexuality is who we are as sexual being - our erotic desires, fantasies and feelings. It is how we express sexual sensation and related emotional intimacy. We are always sexual beings, no matter when, how, if, or with whom we choose to express that. Sexuality is lasts for life, it doesn't just turn on and off when we are having sex with someone.

Sexual Identity means who we identify ourselves as being - heterosexual, lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Our sexual identity can also be different in public than in private. For example, a man who is attracted to men identify publicly as heterosexual. Among friends, he may feel confident and supported enough to declare his identity as gay.

Sexual Orientation means to whom we are attracted (men only, women only, or men and women). Which gender(s) that is the focus of our amorous desires.

Sexual Behavior is with whom we actually have sex - men only, women only, or men and women.

Ms. X or Anonymous Sex

I never did find out her name so I'll refer to her as Ms. X.

It was a hot and humid summer evening as I walked into the Upper East Side building of this woman that I have been seeing on and off for 3 or 4 years. From the door this petite dark haired woman with vaguely Eurasian features who is struggling with a key looked back at me "Oh, could you help me with this?" she asked.

"Wow, do you have to go through this everyday?" I asked as I began fiddling with the key. The door opened.

"Thank you," she said, "But no, not every day, I am cat sitting and I come here once every two days." As she walked I noted her lean legs, short skirt, red flowery top and those ubiquitous blue Adidas sandals. Very nice.

In the elevator she pressed the button for the 6th floor, which is the same floor as my friend. Immediately my mode changed. The last thing I wanted was two women on the same floor. However half way up she looks at me and says as she presses 12. "Oh what floor are you going to? Six I guess" she says.

"Wow, are you a mind reader?" I ask as the elevator door opens.

"No, it's just that I live on 6 in my own building."

We laugh and chat more, the chemistry is palpable, I don't know what it was, but I just said. "Well, I'll ride up with you and help feed the cats"

Our light hearted banter continued. Never once did she indicate unease. The cats were hungry, so we fed them. Then we were at each other. I dug a condom out of my pocket, pulled my jeans to my ankles and I took her from behind over the side arm of the couch. She did not undress either; I just flipped her skirt up and pulled her thong down.

It was raw animal sex. She came first, and howled again as I came loudly. I pulled out grabbed some Kleenex in which to wrap the condom. "Bye," I said, zipping up as I walked to the door. I threw the used condom in the trash hatch next to the elevator then went down to my date.

The Elevator Story

One crisp spring morning I had just entered an empty elevator when a woman came bounding into the building looking expectantly at me. I smiled and held the doors open for her.

"Thank you, I am running late" she gasped her cheeks rosy from exertion. She has bleached blonde short spiky hair, big bright eyes and juicy curves… in a word voluptuous.

I asked her for her number when the elevator opened on my floor.

"I would love to give it to you but I really am late for an appointment, but I am here every Friday."

"I guess I'll just ride up with you then ride back down." I said as I dug for a pen. In big cursive script she wrote Renee and her phone number on a little piece of note paper.

I lost the number!

A couple of weeks later I was in a café downstairs with a coworker when, as luck would have it, she walked in. I quickly excused my self and walked up to her "Renee, I am so happy to see you again, I lost your number." We chatted for a quick minute. This time I put the number right into my phone.

We met early the following week for an after work drink at 6. She walked in, a little late, we each had a glass of wine, but it was such a nice night that we headed to a nearby park. We made out briefly. "Let's go" I say. An hour after meeting, we are a train to her studio apartment in Queens.

We had sex for the first time looking out her 16th floor window overlooking Manhattan before moving to her bed. She is wild and bucks when she comes.

She wanted me to stay the night, but I wanted to get home, so I was on the train by 9.

Renee is an artist, she's submissive. She has more toys than FAO Schwartz – she was especially proud of her latex skin suit. She shared wild stories of sex in public, of swinger experiences, of how she has sex on the first date all too frequently.

I did not speak to her after our first encounter, but arranged our second meeting by sending her a series of text messages. It was in my mind a treasure hunt of sorts. For her it was increasingly exciting because she would get the messages at the oddest hours.

As requested, she was sitting at the outdoor restaurant facing south wearing a long flowing skirt with a lollipop in her mouth when I got there. After our meal we went to her house.

Again for some unknown reason I did not want to stay the night.

That was the last I saw of her. I called her a couple of days later but she did not return my call. I did not feel like trying to call again.