Sex at Seven

I am not ready for this!

"Are you sure that this is your DVD?" My son and I have just come home and there was a Netflix envelope addressed to him in the mailbox.

"Yes, it has my name on it." It is a movie called 'X-men United' he puts it in the DVD player.

20 minutes later I look up from my computer and this woman dressed in next to nothing is dragging a bewildered man into a bathroom stall. "Ahhh, what are you watching? I don't want you watching this, it's about sex" I say.

"I already know about sex" my 7 years old says.

"What is sex then?" I ask

"You should know you always do it."

"I do?"

"Yes, or you try to."

"With who, the guys I hang out with?" I taunt.

"No." he says increduously, "With every woman you meet"

"Who told you about this?"

He looks up at me, his red cap cocked off to one side. Eyebrows raised he says "You did."

Oh my god. This at 7, what are his teenage years going to be like for me. Somebody save me, please.