The Ballerina

Written December 19, 2002

I was out Sunday with Mex – a woman who I met a week ago in a bar here. Mex told me all about her boyfriend and how she wanted to get back together with him, blah blah. I still managed to get the routines in but I could tell she needed more breaking down. I suggested that we go to a free concert "Handel's Messiah" in a church in the square. After the concert, we went into the church hall for tea. I could sense that she still wanted to be coy, so I decided to eject. I said "Hey I will call you, let's do something Tuesday. I am going to talk to some people then leave."

I then saw this absolutely gorgeous woman and she was beaming – have you ever seen someone who totally overshadows everyone around her. She was with an older man, obviously her dad. I timed it perfectly and went up to her and said "Hey, you look radiant, did Handel get to you or is it just you?” She smiled and replied "Both." I fluffed with her for a little and found out that she was a professional dancer - not on a pole dummies - a ballerina (hence the name Ballerina). In her past, she had danced with the NYC ballet etc. She had just moved back to town from the Midwest and was living with her parents. We fluffed for a little about ballet, about the Nutcracker, which she had just performed.

Ballerina: I would love to talk but I have to take my Dad to a dinner party. Me: I feel the same way. I would love to talk some more. Give me your number.

She eagerly dug in her purse for a pen to write her number down. She gave me her number AND her last name! I then knew that I was not dealing with a woman who was used to hanging out with players. She then said "Hey, I am leaving in a week for 3 weeks" which I took as an IOI.

Then Mex - who I had said goodbye to earlier, came up and chatted with us. I could see that she was jealous! I was gracious and introduced them to each other and then took Mex by the arm and walked out with her. As we were walking, Mex asks me "How do you know Ballerina?" and I said, "I don't know her, I only just met her." She seemed so ready, like she was suddenly more attracted to me. She suggested that we go out later that night. I said, I have some things to do – gym etc. I will call you later. When I called her, she said that she was in bed but that did stop me from visiting and giving her what both wanted!

***

Fast forward to Monday. At 10 AM I call Ballerina and say "Hey it is rainy, I need a dose of radiance to bring some sun to my day." She laughs. I then say, "Hey can you be spontaneous? I am two towns over heading your way. Why don't we meet for a bagel at the local coffee shop?" She said that she was unable to leave so we made a date at a Starbucks at 5.

I was there before her, and picked two seats at the counter - sort of like barstools, some Starbucks have those. She walked in right at 5, I had my back to her and was reading a newspaper, but I could see her reflection in the window in front of me. I waited until she was half way to me then turned and gave my greeting that has distinct components.

We talked for an hour…I focused on building rapport and I was heavy on kino, eye contact. I kept the conversation light and humorous – C&F Lite – but I consciously ran through my method that I described above.

I was sober – we were drinking coffee and tea, and this helped me stay on top of my game. She gave me many hooks that I filed away and they came back to work in my favor later. For instance – when I talked of Incredible Connections she said that she had moved 5 months ago, was still living with her parents and missed the connections that she had with her friends in the Midwest. She spoke of how she had gone back to visit and her ex had proposed to her, she felt she could not accept, but when she came back she felt a void so she called him to rekindle the relationship. He agreed on condition she would commit to him. She talked of how she was having trouble “figuring out what she wanted to do or be when she “grew up” and I went into my awesome homegrown Brief Encounters routine, which I will post here sometime in the future. She also said that she did not drink and disliked smoke filled bars and restaurants.

I thought I had crashed and burned when she mentioned her boyfriend, but she gave me enough information to let me know that she was not sure about the relationship. For instance, she talked about adopting a child as a single parent etc.

At 6 pm, a little over an hour after we met, she mentioned that she had to call her Mom if she was not going home for dinner. Now I was in a bit of a dilemma – I had a 6 PM date to go to a friend's farewell party with Mex – but I decided “a bird in hand …” I said, “Call her and tell her that you will not be home for dinner.” She said in a pleased tone “Oh we’re going to get some dinner!”

I then thought – damn I need to get her in my space. I need to isolate her. Now when you live in the suburbs as I do this primarily entails getting her into your car and getting her to your neighborhood. (We had met in her town about 5 miles from mine.) I suggested “Why don’t we drop the car off at your home and go in one car so we don’t have to deal with parking and following each other and stuff.” She said, “Great idea”

On the way to her house I called Mex and said that my meeting had run over and I would not be able to make it on time, but that she should go ahead and I would swing by later. She knew a couple of folks that would be at the party. I also told her that my cell phone battery was run down and I did not know how much longer it would last. I still wanted her as a back up plan in case Ballerina flaked out.

She dropped the car off at her parents’ house then came straight into my car. I took that as a good sign. I then continued the conversation that we had in the coffee shop, keeping it all lighthearted and funny (C&F Lite). I decided I needed to get her in my apartment. I said “I can think of a few great restaurants in my town, but they are all rather smoky, why don’t we go to my apartment and order in food so that we can continue our wonderful conversation. I am having a great time talking with you.” She said, “Sounds great.”

We were now sitting on the couch holding hands. Her body language was positive…so I decided to move in for the kiss – but I was rebuffed. I decided to change something. I chilled brought the conversation back to where it was before. Paid close attention to the body language which started to warm up to me again. She said, “I am real hungry, lets go out and get something to eat.” I said, “OK” but deep down I new that I did not want her to leave.

I went upstairs to change into jeans – she had mentioned that she felt underdressed since I was still in my work clothes. I put on these tight black jeans – believe me I have the body for it. I then said, “Oh, I need to get something from the laundry” – the laundry is in the basement so I walked past her with no shirt on – perhaps a not so subtle way of showing of my pecs and six-pack.

When I was dressed and came back to the room, she said, “Oh this music is so amazing. What are those instruments?”

I took this as my cue and said, “Why don’t you sit down and enjoy it.”

She did.

Me: “Close your eyes and feel the music caress your entire body…” Boy was I on.

I eventually got the seduction plan back on track. I decided to let her know that acknowledging her needs and desires was okay and could help her make a better decision about her boyfriend. I did this by telling her about physical needs and how when I was in graduate school I had a woman friend who was separated from her husband and was trying to work stuff out. I said that we had a sexual relationship with the understanding that it was only a “friendship with added benefits.” I said, “Given where she was in her relationship she need to be free to think about what she really wanted and not to feel that she would choose to go back to her husband for sex and comfort. I was busy in graduate school and did not have time to have a full-blown relationship. After a few months, she said that she had decided to go back to her husband, and I was very happy for her.”

This my friends, is what got me the lay. I went in to kiss and she responded aggressively…she was so turned on. But all through the lay, she kept saying “No.” but her body was screaming "Yes." She would say No and hold me to her. She had mixed feelings. This bothered me so I stopped. I asked her how she felt, whether she was concerned about anything, whether anything had happened or was happening that she did not want to happen. She said that she was fine.

I then told her that she had to use a magic phrase if she wanted me to stop, and that I would not listen to anything else. “What is the magic phrase?” Me: “Just say ‘I don’t want to feel good’” This cracked her up and she found it extremely difficult to say.

At one stage, after I had eaten her out she said that she just wanted to cuddle. I said yes, of course, I had to change something. I told her to lie down on the bed and got this exotic Rose Coconut Massage Oil, lit candles and put on a Stan Getz/Joao Gilberto CD “Girl from Ipanema” - I lucked out, she loved the song. After massaging her beautiful back – she has a body to die for. I asked her to turn around then did the front. I asked her to close her eyes and touched her nipple then clitoris with an ice cube. Hot and cold. She went nuts.

***

After sex, she started to sob. She began to apologize to me! Saying “I did not mean to lead you on… blah blah.” I told her “I think I will be okay. I understand. I think it will be difficult for me to just be your friend.” I am such an ass!

When I dropped her off later, she said “You are a really nice guy, I am sure you will find someone nice.